Irishman For Hire is taking a week off. I had a fantastic (albeit crazy) extended weekend in Boston last week and this week, I am celebrating my fourteenth wedding anniversary with my beautiful bride, Mrs. Irishman! Happy Anniversary, Steph! I love you!

I also want to wish a Happy Belated Birthday to my cousin, Brett!

I do have a new feature to share with you; a new page called “Leabhar Mór-éilimh” … Click on the link to check it out and provide feedback!

Have a wonderful week! I should be back next week with a new article!

A few years ago, some friends and I were sitting around, drinking a couple of beers and telling war stories of our youth. We covered all of our triumphs, our glory days, our conquests and even some of our bigger mistakes. At one point in time someone asked me, “If you had a chance to go back in time and change one thing in your life, would you do it?”

“Yes,” I said. “I would.”

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Last Friday morning, I woke up to the first cool and overcast morning we have had in weeks. The Piedmont has been ravaged by a heat wave that has brought unusually high temperatures, so to wake up and find the mercury hovering around seventy-eight was a welcomed sight. I had been neglecting the grass and the jungle that has been growing up around our house needed to be cut down to size. Cooler temperatures meant that I could finally mow the lawn.

I went into the garage and pulled out my lawnmower. When I went to fill the lawn mower with gas, I realized my gas can was empty. Frustrated, I trudged back into the house for my car keys and I was off to the local filling station. As I stepped up to the counter to pay for a gallon of gasoline, the attendant said, “Watch out, it’s Friday the 13th!”

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I walked up to the counter and when the representative asked me if he could help me with anything, I declined. I had spoken with a knowledgeable sales associate on the phone and realizing that most sales associates work on commission, I decided to wait for the person I had established a business relationship with prior to my visit. So I walked around the store and looked at some of the phones they had on display in their showroom.

I was finally called up to the counter. As I placed my order, the price for my DSL service increased by five dollars per month. When I inquired as to the price difference, it was explained to me that I was only ordering DSL service and not a phone as well. I had stated that I was only interested in DSL service when I initially called and the prices had been explained in detail. The sales associate apologized for the misunderstanding but since I didn’t need phone service and I was getting a “dry loop” DSL plan, the rates were a little bit higher.

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There are four pictures in the room that make it impossible to sit there. Like the classic paintings in the Scooby Doo Cartoons that have eyes that follow you everywhere, these pictures stare at you. Their expressions are comical. The irony of the situation is comical so that whenever I sit there, I can do nothing but laugh. It is because of those pictures that there is a place in my house where I absolutely cannot sit.

The first picture is on the window sill. It is a picture of our friend Angie holding baby Chloe in a rocking chair with a big radiant guffaw. She is laughing at me. She is questioning me. And as her gaze pierces me from the window sill, I feel as though she can read my mind. I have tried to look away, but I can feel the picture staring at the back of my head and I can see the laughter upon her face.

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Five years ago, a friend of mine got me hooked on the show Numb3ers. When he first told me about the series, I thought the plot seemed pretty laughable but I promised to watch a couple of episodes. The premise of the show is simple; an FBI agent named Don has a brother named Charlie who is a math genius. Charlie is a consultant to the FBI and through mathematical theorems, he helps Don solve cases.

It sounded pretty far-fetched to me at first but after watching a few episodes, I was captivated. Charlie’s premise was that arbitrary activity is part of a larger, more complex design. By adding variables to an equation, the cases can be cracked by deciphering the underlying pattern of behavior. As I became more engrossed in Numb3ers, I started creating my own mathematical theorems to see if the random aspects on my life were actually random.

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On our third night in the new house, we just had to quit unpacking. We brought a heat wave with us and after two and a half days of temperatures in triple digits, a night off to relax in the pool was just what the doctor ordered.

Uncle Walt had been entertaining our kids so we could unpack and probably needed a night off as well. So Stephanie and I left a billion half empty boxes strewn around the house and walked up to the pool as sweat rolled down our faces. I wasted no time as I kicked off my shoes, threw my shirt into a vacant chair and jumped into the pool. As I came up for a breath of fresh air, my body temperature instantly dropped thirty degrees. It was invigorating.

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As a sophomore in high school, my life changed drastically and I found myself at a crossroads. My mother had passed away and as the final months of the school year were ending, I had to prepare to move to a new town. Prep School and I were like oil and water, so my lack of friends was evident as I tried diligently to change my circumstances. So I started hanging out with a new group of friends.

Things were going well at first. I stepped away from my unique style in order to become one of the crowd and for the first time, I was finally playing by the rules. It was uncharted waters for me but it gave me a place to feel grounded while I juggled my changing landscape. And, I finally had a core set of friends.

One night, my friends and I decided to go on a pizza run. Ordering food and having it delivered at our school was against the rules. So the idea of ordering pizza brought along a new set of challenges. Pizza runs had become missions. If we got caught, we would be punished, we would lose money and there was always a lot of ridicule at the hands of our friends. A successful pizza run meant an after hours party in the dorm.

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My latest book encompassed a period of fourteen years; almost to the day! The impact of the past fourteen years won’t truly be known for years to come but I would be remiss if I didn’t take a moment to reflect upon the time I spent in Bean Town. I don’t believe in goodbyes because we will see each other again, but I do want to take a moment to pay tribute to the people I met and the accomplishments I have attained over the past fourteen years.

I married my wife in Chapter One and to be completely honest, Stephanie is more amazing today than she was fourteen years ago. And every day I know her, I love her more than the day before. I am blessed to call her my wife. And although I don’t know how many more books our life will encompass, I eagerly look forward to many more amazing stories, laughs and blessings over the next fifty (or more) years.

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The irony is that LOST is the perfect metaphor for life. We may not be stranded on a remote island in the middle of nowhere trying to find a way home but how many of us can say that we have truly conquered the mysteries and meanings of our own lives? I know I can’t.

I am a man of faith. I believe I have done a lot more good in the world than harm. I believe everything happens for a reason and through the journey of my life, I find myself seeking redemption in my faith on a daily basis. And yet those everyday struggles still remain and with each new challenge I face, my belief in myself and my core values are tested.

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