IRISHMAN FOR HIRE

A few months ago, Josh and Chloe were playing with their toys in the living room. Chloe got bored with her own toys and decided to wreak havoc on Josh’s construction project. As Chloe was about to knock over the building he was making with his blocks, Josh made one last attempt to warn her against it, “Chloe, if you knock it down, I’m going to hit you!”

“Josh,” I said abruptly in response to his statement. Josh turned quickly and stared at me with a ghostly expression because he had forgotten that I was sitting in the chair behind him and heard what he had said to his sister. “We don’t threaten to hit.”

But before he could say anything in his defense, his right arm came up and grabbed the back of his left arm as he screamed, “Oooowwwww!”

As I was talking to Josh about threatening his little sister, Chloe exacted a quick, severe and resounding pre-emptive strike of her own; she bit him! The tears welled up in his eyes as the electrical shock of having been bitten coursed painfully throughout Josh’s body. Stephanie came into the room to see what was happening as I tried to console Josh and scold Chloe at the same time. In the middle of the black and blue welt that was developing on his arm where Chloe had bit him was a trickle of blood where she had broken the skin with her teeth. Stephanie took him into the bathroom to clean out the cut while I took Chloe to the time-out chair.

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As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I finally joined Facebook. Many of my friends had been asking me to join for months but for one reason or another, I hadn’t. Once I finally signed up and set up my account, I encouraged Stephanie to join as well. This past weekend as I clicked over to her Facebook page to leave a message on her wall, I noticed that she had posted a new status comment which simply read, “Remembering what we did on weekends before we had kids!”

As I quickly tried to think of a witty comment to leave on her page, I started to think about the weekends we had spent together before we had children. It was a simpler time because our weekends were less structured and much more spontaneous. We woke up when we wanted to, we lounged around all day whenever we felt like it, and most importantly we didn’t need to pack up toys, snacks and various knickknacks that made us look like the most common tourist in our own hometown. We were free to do whatever we wanted to do whenever we wanted to do it!

Thirteen years ago, when Stephanie and I had first moved to Massachusetts, we woke up one Saturday morning and decided to run a few errands. After a couple of routine stops, we decided to go to the store and do our weekly grocery shopping. As I drove by the Stop & Shop parking lot and saw that it was full of cars, I passed by the entrance to the store and jumped on the highway.

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Last year, I decided that at the end of the awards season (The Golden Globes, The Oscars, The Grammy’s, etc.), I am going to give out a single award here at Irishman For Hire called the Blarney Stone Award. The Blarney Stone is a block of bluestone atop the Blarney Castle in Ireland and it is widely believed that anyone who kisses the Blarney Stone (different link) will be endowed with the “gift of gab (great eloquence or skill at flattery).”

The criteria for the Blarney Stone award is simple, “Thank those who have had an impact on my life before it’s too late to express the gratitude that I have for them.” I cannot guarantee that the recipient will become eloquent or a great speaker but the fact of the matter is that it was the eloquence of their actions that has spoken volumes to me in my life. We always intend to tell those important people in our lives what they have meant to us but more often than not, we never get the chance to say to our friends and family members what we truly feel in our hearts until it is too late.

The inaugural Blarney Stone Award was given to my Aunt Renate (click here to read it).

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The other day, during the snowstorm, I was watching an episode of Saved By The Bell with my kids. Later in the evening, as I was setting up my Face Book account, the underlying message of the episode dawned on me and I was flabbergasted. Zack was in a fight with one of his friends over a girl they were both interested in dating. Their teacher, Mrs. Bliss, interceded and told the two boys that they had been through too much together to let a girl destroy their friendship.

The more I thought about the premise of the show, the more I disagreed with the point that was made. I had a best friend who I hung out with all the time and we did everything together; we were as thick as thieves. The two of us had gotten into more trouble then we care to admit and when push came to shove, we stood firm in the face of adversity. We had been through a lot together. We had picked each other up when we were down, we shared in the glories of each others achievements, and no matter what; we could always depend upon each other. That was until the day I met one particular girl.

I fell in love with Stephanie on my twenty-third birthday. It was one of those fluke circumstances where happenstance and coincidence ran into each other in an earth-shattering collision that brought us together. My friends were late for my birthday bash while Stephanie and I spent the afternoon alone with each other. By the time she left to go home, we had kissed for the first time and I was instantaneously in love with her.

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