Echoes of LOST

It was a show about science versus faith. Good versus evil. Free will versus destiny. Redemption versus damnation. LOST packed all of this in a six year run that has left so many unanswered questions and personal interpretations about what happened on a remote island somewhere in the Pacific, that I believe the show will be watched again and again and talked about for years to come.

The irony is that LOST is the perfect metaphor for life. We may not be stranded on a remote island in the middle of nowhere trying to find a way home but how many of us can say that we have truly conquered the mysteries and meanings of our own lives? I know I can’t.

I am a man of faith. I believe I have done a lot more good in the world than harm. I believe everything happens for a reason and through the journey of my life, I find myself seeking redemption in my faith on a daily basis. And yet those everyday struggles still remain and with each new challenge I face, my belief in myself and my core values are tested.

I am in the process of making big changes in my life. It is a plan that started over five months ago and has a billion moving parts. There are times when the chaos is absolutely exhilarating while at other times, the ability to juggle so many tasks in such a short amount of time can be exasperating and overwhelming. And as usual, there have been many points in the middle of the whole plan when I have been lost in the details and caught up by the minutiae of the moment that allowed my one fear to encompass me.

I have a fear of failure. I can handle losing. I can handle mediocrity. And if I am being honest with myself, I can even handle the fact that every aspect of our lives is not destined to succeed exactly how we planned it. That is the brilliance of the plan that God forges for all of us. There will be setbacks and roadblocks along the way. But during the past few months, there have been a few moments when my life changing plan almost came crashing down and I found out exactly how much I fear failure.

I have many mechanisms for facing my fears. I have tried Jack’s method for conquering fear and there have been many times when I have counted my five seconds. Before big meetings, speeches, sporting events and other nerve wracking moments, his method has worked brilliantly. If I need a moment to focus, there is no better method. But at this point in my life, the change is too big and the stakes are too high.

I have a former minister who has always preached the idea of “Let go and let God.” In the past, handing the problem over to God and asking for his help has worked very effectively. It has given me inner peace. It has given me strength I never knew I had. It has helped me to have “the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

But over the past couple of weeks, in those moments of prayer, reflection and introspection, I have mistakenly let the fear of failure creep back into my mind and wreak havoc with my psyche. I am frustrated with myself because I trust God to help me overcome all of the obstacles that I will encounter and show me the road I am supposed to travel. So for the life of me, I couldn’t understand why I was unable to hand over my fear and let go of the worry.

Last week as I was reading my cousin Wendy’s Facebook page, I stumbled upon the following status that she posted; “if you are having a bad day it’d be a great day to write God a letter and unload it all on Him. Then ask Him to heal your heart.” And in a moment of clarity I realized that I hadn’t asked God to heal my heart. But once I did, a calming peace washed over me as I successfully faced the final hurdles in this phase of the plan.

Yes, LOST is the perfect metaphor for my life. I live on my own island in the middle of nowhere trying to find my way through the world around me. And when I think I know the answers or have figured out the mysteries of the world, new challenges are presented that force me to reevaluate my own beliefs and my personal convictions. Whether by faith or by science, free will or by destiny, I have chosen a path to walk and those people to walk with me who will help me succeed in my quest. There will be always be tests. Tough times and great successes await me in the years to come. And with each new crossroad I approach, I hope to choose the road that helps me and all of my loved ones find peace of mind and redemption in our lives.

This entry was posted in Faith, Ideals, Stories and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Echoes of LOST

  1. angie says:

    Oh, the fear of failure is one everyone’s mind. Think of all of your success! Your children, your beautiful wife, your friends, the amazing work you leave behind….

    This move will bring on many feeling because you have so strongly taken on a new beginning!

  2. Wendy says:

    Our pastor this weekend gave us the “Recipe For Faith”
    1. Belief – Jesus has the answers — find a church and come expecting to be changed, when you worry you don’t have faith with a purpose, because Jesus has the answers and worry puts our focus on ourselves.
    2. Trust – He accepts us and won’t reject us.
    3. Action – Our response to God’s Love is to show our faith in action. No matter where we go, show it when we talk, when we walk so people see God in all we do.

    I think you did that in this article, just as you used Jack’s method, use God’s, wait 5 seconds and turn the worry back over, do it every time you worry and it will no longer be a worry, it will be a praise.

    I think I’m closer to you guys now, so when you need something, holla ~ Love you all!

  3. Doug Veeder says:

    Thanks Angie and Wendy,

    Angie, thanks for the pep talk. I gave up the fear of failure ten days ago. Clear sailing from here. Nerves about where the plan might lead me but excited for the journey!

    Wendy, great advice. Thanks for sharing.

  4. Josh says:

    This is a great post and I agree that fear of failure does keep us from the things we love sometimes.

    Though, let me say, for the line “I believe I have done a lot more good in the world than harm”, I’ve tasted your cooking. I’d hold back from such proclamations. 😉

  5. Uncle Mario says:

    Hola chico. At 69, I am still searching and trying to find a path to life and to God. When I find the way, I will share it with you but, it may take another 69 years! such is life!

  6. Marie says:

    This was beautiful. We have a priest in Fl. whom we just love. He says that Jesus loves us just the way we are and accepts us that way, and forgives us for whatever we have done, and loves us. So if we could just do that for ourselves we could accomplish anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is a two time cancer survivor and his sister says that his family put the dis in dysfunction

Comments are closed.