I want to thank so many of you who have written to me or posted comments about my adoption search. It was a massive undertaking but also a journey that taught me so much about myself as a person and the world around me.
I started out looking for medical information. What I found was so much more and like so many relationships that every one of us has on a daily basis with our own family members; there are hills and valleys that we all must go through. The good times outweigh the bad times but life does bring its fair share of adversity.
And like all things in life, the people I have found also have a choice. There are some birth family members who chose not to be a part of my life. I understand their choices and I respect them. Genetically, we are connected and sometimes that is enough.
There are other birth family members who have become an integral part of my family. We talk on the phone, we visit when we can and we offer help, laughter and love to one another. We are genetically connected and for those people, genetics just wasn’t enough.
We all had options before us and in the end, mutually, we all exercised those options.
Like I stated earlier, an adoption search is a large undertaking. New York has some of the most stringent laws on the books and I got lucky. I defied the odds. I now know most of my medical history and more importantly, I know most of the stories of the two people who by happenstance created this unique character (i.e.: me)!
I do want to answer a few of the questions people have asked over the years. Currently, my birth mother and I are in a valley. I hope one day we will be on top of a hill and I am positive that one day we just might be but for right now, we are in a valley.
Sadly, I never met my birth father. He passed away in the 1990s. I found his obituary in the early 2000s and through that document, I was able to track down the rest of my birth family; most of whom I have met.
I am technically an only child. My birth mother and my birth father both had two other children, just not with each other. I speak to three out of four of them on a regular basis. The fourth relationship is taking some time but we are working on it. My birth father also had two step-daughters whom I have never met.
And finally, for those who have asked, my parents are the people who raised me. My parents fed me, clothed me, punished me, taught me right from wrong and did what parents all across this great nation of ours do; they worried about their kids growing up. Thank you is never enough when you think about all of the sacrifices they made on my behalf but sometimes ‘thank you’ is all I have to offer them. Thank you, Mom (RIP), Dad and Hadley.
Author’s Note — In case you have not read the previous articles in this series, click on the links below….
Part II — The Underground; Twelve Years Later!
Part III — Christmas Eve, Twelve Years Later!
Part V — The Libraries, Twelve Years Later!
Part VII — The Letter, Twelve Years Later